Live blogging the last 2008 presidential debate

Well, I wasn’t going to live blog this because I was planning on staying sober, but honestly McCain looks so damn uncomfortable that it’s making ME cringe. So let me grab a beer and get caught up on this shizzfest. (Basically I’m going to tweet and blog at the same time. So if you follow me both places, get ready for redundancy. Sorry in advance.)

8:13 p.m. Wait is Joe the Plumber like the plumbers that I know? Because then he makes $100/hr. I don’t think he’s hurting.

8:14 p.m. Ian says he thinks McCain just had a stroke. And that he must have gas because he looks really uncomfortable.

8:15 p.m. WHY DO THEY KEEP BRINGING UP IRELAND? WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT IRELAND? I mean, I do, but not for election reasons.

8:17 p.m. HAHAHA McCain can speak to the Great Depression BECAUSE HE WAS ALIVE DURING IT!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

8:18 p.m. Hahaha I think McCain just forgot the question. Twice he’s had to be reminded to answer the damn question. But in his defense, it takes a long time to reach back in a brain that was born before the Great Depression.

8:20 p.m. OMG seriously why does McCain keep sneering and laughing at Obama? Did he just make a stinky in his diaper?

8:21 p.m. OH SNAP! McCain is letting his disrespect and irritation toward Obama show loud and clear. As long as he maintains his train of thought, that is.

8:22 p.m. How does a man with 12 houses know how Americans are angry and hurting?

8:23 p.m. This would be a great, great time for Obama to say, “I’m a maverick, too! [redacted]“

8:25 p.m. Yes, yes, we all know you have hundreds of years of experience, McCain.

8:26 p.m. Wait the man who wanted to BACK OUT of the last debate is now chastising Obama for not wanting to have more debates?

8:27 p.m. Who cut McCain and gave him his scars? WHO? Bush? Cheney!! I bet it was Cheney.

8:28 p.m. OMG IS HE CRYING? No wait, it’s just old man drippy-eye.

8:28 p.m. Ok that’s it. I’m drinking every time McCain speaks. Sorry people I work with, I’m going to look rough tomorrow.

8:32 p.m. AHA! YES! That’s right McCain’s supporters are yelling to kill Obama. THAT is not cool and I’m glad Obama brought that shit up.

8:33 p.m. McCain is really uncomfortable.

8:33 p.m. He’s proud of the people who come to their rallies? Why would you say that right after you guys were talking about the people who scream to kill Obama and that he’s a terrorist.

8:35 p.m. Both these dudes are left-handed. Siniestra. Is Ron Paul left-handed, too? Ian says they would be the left-handed triple beast if so.

8:36 p.m. Thank Jebus Obama is clarifying his relationship with William Ayers. Since McCain just said they’d have to “review his relationship” with him to know if he (obama?) is really a terrorist. WTF??

8:37 p.m. Is McCain really going there? Is he really trying to “prove” Obama is a terrorist? Do people really think that?

8:39 p.m. Dick Lugar teehee

8:40 p.m. Wait, so in one breath McCain went from “Obama is a terrorist” to “I’m not going to raise taxes”? In the same sentence?

8:41 p.m. Just say it, Obama. You picked Biden for VP because HE IS NOT A FUCKING RETARD FROM ALASKA he is awesome. Or something.

8:43 p.m. Sarah Palin cut the size of government? Is that what we’re calling “unethical firing” nowadays? Oh wait—so Democrats can’t touch Palin’s family but McCain can parade them around on a stick?

8:44 p.m. Why does McCain keep bringing up how tough Palin’s husband is? Is that a clause in the paperwork? He has to mention the size of Todd’s dick every time he mentions how great Sarah is? Or does he mention it because he wants to jab at Biden’s wife dying?

8:48 p.m. Do people really think there is such a thing as clean coal?

8:49 p.m. Oh I thought he was going to say “Tell the oil companies to fuck off.”

8:50 p.m. Why is nobody mentioning that we need to tell the EPA to require auto manufacturers to require all vehicles to be fuel efficient? 40 mpg or better? We’ve had the technology for YEARS. Force the automakers to start being more responsible. If people can only buy fuel-efficient vehicles, they will. BAM. Problem… made kind of better. Eh? Megan for president?

8:52 p.m. Hahahaha McCain talking about drugs? Sure McCain is a free-trader. He trades his Viagra for Cheney’s Cialis.

8:54 p.m. Car companies have been fat and happy for far too long. They need to get their asses on the ball and figure out ways to make better cars. Or let them go under. I don’t care. Let them all fail. AND DON’T BAIL THEM OUT.

8:55 p.m. OBAMA FTW! Someone finally mentioned making more fuel-efficient cars!!

8:56 p.m. I think McCain just had a stroke. That sentence was like three at once with no verb. WTF is he trying to say? HAHA I love how when he says, “When I’m president…” the moderator says, “Ohh Ok…” the way your mom said she believed you when you told her you discovered a pot of gold when you were 10 years old.

8:57 p.m. If I were going to vote on body language alone tonight, I would be heading for the voting booth in the morning to cast my vote for Obama. McCain looks uncomfortable, nervous, condescending and irritated. And like he has gas. And he’s fuggles. But Obama keeps looking at the camera, connecting with people at home. Why can’t McCain look the TV-viewing audience in the eye?

8:59 p.m. What good is a walk-in clinic if they don’t take your insurance or if you don’t have insurance? Newsflash: walk-in doesn’t mean free, McCain. And as Ian says, “I can totally get a heart transplant for $5,000! Thanks John McCain!”

9 p.m. Who the fuck is Joe??

9:02 p.m. That’s right! Old sickly people can’t GET cheap health insurance! Hell, even young people can’t get health insurance. I tried once and was denied. And I’m not even sick.

9:03 p.m. Ok if it’s true that young people matter the most in these elections, I really want to hear Obama say, “John McCain, your campaign is an EPIC FAIL.” Oh wait, that jumped the shark today didn’t it? God damn you, Slate.

9:04 p.m. PLUMBERS DON’T WORK ON SUNDAY!!!

9:05 p.m. John McCain if you don’t like government, why are you running for it? Shouldn’t you be an anarchist?

9:06 p.m. Wait wait where is John McCain making sense with this health plan? Is he really saying screw the people who need transplants? Can you really get a liver transplant for $5,000? (I’m not asking this because I’m afraid I’m going to need one after this debate.)

9:07 p.m. Why is everyone sucking Joe the Plumber’s dick tonight? When did plumbers become the best way to describe America?

9:10 p.m. Oh Christ “proudly pro-life” and “terribly difficult situation” in the same sentence, McCain? Don’t get me started.

9:12 p.m. Sorry McCain we are not PRO-ABORTION. We are pro-choice. If you get raped and pregnant but still feel like you should keep it, go right ahead. Oh wait, you will NEVER HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. So how about let’s keep it a CHOICE, asshat.

9:15 p.m. OMG is McCain LAUGHING as Obama tries to talk about abortion issues? Oh wait, he’s smirking. That’s right. Because abortion is something to smirk about.

9:16 p.m. STOP CALLING IT PRO-ABORTION YOU FUCKING IDIOT ELITIST RACIST BIGOTED ASSHOLE

9:18 p.m. I can’t listen to McCain keep saying pro-abortion. He can NEVER know what it would feel like to be in that position. NEVER.

9:20 p.m. Wait did McCain just say education is the civil rights issue of this century? I thought they already de-segregated schools.

9:21 p.m. Wait so he wants to reward teachers, but then let soldiers be teachers without having to take tests and get certified?? Ok, forget the soldiers-without-education-training remark. If we’re going to reward teachers, I think we need higher standards. Ask my sister: She was in a great school for her teaching degree, and right alongside her were DUMBASSES who are teachers today. Why should we reward the stupid, unmotivated teachers? Why shouldn’t we raise the standards?

9:22 p.m. OMG OBAMA YOU JUST SAID WHAT I JUST BLOGGED!! (but more eloquently.) Holy crap. OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT 2008!!!

9:25 p.m. Ya Sarah Palin knows about kids because she has 400 of them. And guess what NOT ONE IS AUTISTIC SO SHUT UP MCCAIN. Does he think Down’s Syndrome is the same as autism? Really??

9:27 p.m. Yes McCain, America needs a new direction. And you are so far behind what this country needs, your only direction is backward. That’s not what we need.

9:30 p.m. Obama is such a better speaker. He is so much more presidential. Even when I was deciding if I should vote for Clinton or Obama, I thought Obama was way more presidential.

Wow. This was a tough election. McCain seemed like he could explode at any time, and his sighing/smirking was worse than Gore’s was back in 2000. I can’t believe how many times McCain said “pro-abortion, too.” I know, I need to let it go already, but for someone who trotted out civil rights in this debate, he needs to get a grip. Don’t say education is the new civil rights movement when you’re trying to take women’s rights away and ensure gay couples never get rights. That is the No. 1 way to piss me off. And a lot of other people, too, I would suspect.

~ by Megan on October 15, 2008.