Why I love Twitter

It’s almost time for bed and I really should get some more work in tonight, but in the rare moment that Twitter is functional, I have to laugh at some tweets that I have favorited. Looking at them not in context (although many of them were pretty random to begin with), they crack my shit up:

“Infant toys don’t play Pachelbel’s Canon so much as repeatedly shit it.” – hotdogsladies

“Sometimes when I talk to a Windows person about using a Mac, I feel like I’m explaining Van Halen to a horse.” – hotdogsladies

“I wonder if it would be possible to put a platypus in a sweater.” – newscoma

“Is it still a ‘martini’ if it’s made from Kahlua and zesty ranch dressing? Bennigan’s says yes but my heart says fuck you I quit.” – fireland

“So I drank some Aveda Rosemary Mint Conditioner on accident, thinking it was a smoothie? First off, YUM. Also? My stache is hella luxurious.” – fireland

“If my feline were part of the grassroots, I would buy A LOT more carpet cleaner!” – Klinde

“I just accidentally glued the cat to just about the worst possible place on my body. This scrapbooking thing is NOT for amateurs, you guys.” – fireland

“Who said Q-tips were just for ear-holes? How about a little less calling the police and a little more high-fiving my dedication to hygiene.” – fireland

“God enables comments on Genesis: “1. First!” “2. Snake looks fake” “3. Abraham ram = teh lame” “4. LOLCains” “5. Friend me, Creator of man!” – hotdogsladies

“I love warm dark nights after 2:00am. It’s like a secret planet only I am on. Well, I and my crippled gay dog.” – mycropht

“Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines” – jagadiah

Technorati tags: Twitter

~ by Megan on May 28, 2008.