Putting my money where my mouth is

So if you couldn’t tell by the previous post, I’ve decided to leave Sprint for AT&T. Tonight on my way home, I called Sprint to cancel the service. It went something like this:

Me: “Hi, I’d like to cancel my service, please.”

Customer service rep: “Oh, I’m sorry, why?”

Me, what I said in my head: “BECAUSE I’M SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!”

Me, what I really said: “Ever since I resigned my contract two years ago, I have had nothing but trouble with your billing. If I’m not getting charged for international messaging, I’m getting charged for ringers or other services I didn’t use. The straw that broke the camel’s back was not being able to log in to my account to view and pay my bill, and nobody seemed to be able to help me. So this month I just had to pay my bill blind—I have no idea if you guys charged me erroneously again or not.”

CSR: “Oh, well let me pull up the last two bills and see what the problem is.”

Me: “No. You don’t understand. It’s not just this month or last month. It’s been pretty much EVERY SINGLE MONTH for the last two years. Believe me. I don’t want you to resolve anything. I’m pretty sure that if no one could get it right in the last two years, you’re not going to be able to. Just cancel my account. Please.”

CSR: “Oh, wow, that’s horrible. Let me pull up your… Oh, wait, I can’t view your account… Oh, ok here we go… Hmm well I see your $39.99 plan, your $15 PowerVision…”

Me: “Yes, that’s all fine…”

CSR: “I see they were charging you for PictureMail when they shouldn’t have been, that should have been included in your Vision package…”

Me: “Ummm ok…”

CSR: “And I see you were getting nights starting at 6 p.m. for free, but they have taken that off for some weird reason, that’s odd…”

Me, not surprised, but not wanting to argue: “…”

CSR: “Well, and I see they charged you for two ringers that you must have downloaded, so that’s all fine…”

Me, what I wanted to say: “FUCK THAT SHIT! It’s not all fine!! I did NOT download two ringers you fucktard!! You see what I mean?? That’s the bullshit I was talking about!!!”

Me, what I really said: “…” (I think I just mumbled something under my breath. I can’t believe I actually didn’t yell at her here. I just wanted out. I was tired of arguing.)

CSR: “Oh, well if there’s anything we can do—”

Me: “NO! No. There is not. Please, just cancel my service. For the love of whatever is holy, just cancel my Sprint service.”

CSR: “Ok, then, well I’m really sorry for all the trouble you’ve had, please hold for about eleventy billion hours while I get another useless rep on the phone to help you with that.”

Me: “…”

About five minutes later…

New customer service rep named Tim: “Hi, blah blah, sorry about your trouble, blah blah, let me see if we can add anything to your plan to keep you from incurring any overage charges.”

Me, exasperated: “NO. I have not had any problems with OVERAGES. I have had problems with you charging me for shit I didn’t use, like text messaging Australia and downloading ringtones (seriously, does anyone actually download ringtones anymore?? You can make your own FOR FREE) or PictureMail when it’s supposed to be included… and then most recently I had to spend almost a fucking week trying to view and pay my bill, which I wasn’t ever able to, and I just found out a few minutes ago that you charged me for MORE shit I didn’t use!!!”

Tim: “Um, ok then… soooo…”

Me: “Yeah. Just cancel my service. Seriously.”

Tim: “You do realize that this is a great pricing plan you’re on.”

Me: “You do realize that I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!!”
Just kidding, I really said something like, “Yes, but at this point I don’t care. I’ll gladly pay an extra $20 a month or so to not have to spend one week every month making sure I am not paying for things I should not be.”

Tim: “And you are getting a corporate discount, so you realize that you won’t get that anymore…”

Me, to myself: “Haha, suckers! I haven’t worked for that company since 2005!”
Me, to Tim: “Yes, I realize that.”
Me, what I wish I’d said: “You realize Sprint isn’t the only company to offer corporate discounts, right?”

Tim: “And you realize that once you leave Sprint, you will no longer be able to take advantage of the Sprint services you’ve been enjoying…”

Me: “Uhhhh yeah, that’s normally how it works. That’s fine. Just please cancel the service.”

Tim: “And you realize…”

Me, cutting him off: “Yes! I get it! When I cancel Sprint I can’t use Sprint services! I get it! All I want to do is cancel my service. CANCELCANCELCANCELCANCEL!!!” <—Ok I didn’t say that last part but I did start to feel like I had ingested some kind of crazy drug that put me in a world where people kept speaking in non sequiturs.

Tim, after about 10 minutes of typing: “Ok, well I’ve put in for your cancellation. Now, it won’t take effect until your next billing cycle, which is May 4, but your number may or may not stop working before then. And you also can’t cancel PowerVision or anything else we might feel like charging you for, so you’re pretty much fucked for the next month. Thanks for calling!!!”

Me: “…”

Honestly, I wasn’t even surprised to hear they had charged me for more shit on my recent bill. A bill I couldn’t even see, but had to pay because it was overdue and no one would help me.

I was really torn about whether I should stay with them a bit longer. Until now. After tonight, I am 100 percent convinced I made the right decision.

Good riddance.

Technorati tags: Sprint, Sprint sucks

~ by Megan on April 7, 2008.